Bounded, Flowing Love: Two Days Omer 5785

Apr 15

Flowing river surrounded by trees and mountains and a cloudy sky

Today is two days of the Omer in the year 5785. גבורה שבחסד, Gevurah ShebeChesed, Boundaries within Flowing Love. The human soul expands beyond its previous limits through spiritual discipline.

Honoring My Own Limits

Yesterday, the members of Temple Israel of Alameda learned that I will be leaving my pulpit at the end of my contract on June 30, 2025. This was the hardest decision of my life. Not just because serving this community is the ultimate expression of my dream of being a rabbi. As importantly, my family has developed deep friendships with the people who surround us. My children found surrogate grandparents. My son brought two new families into our community, ensuring his religious school class included two of his closest friends. And the breadth of my neurodivergent, non-binary child has been held and celebrated here.

Yet, every year, my health deteriorated more. For nine months, I’ve been desperately pursuing a medically necessary mechanical wheelchair to increase my own mobility. Yet even when I get a mobility aid, that will not change my limited ability for human interaction. Somehow, all of my autoimmune diseases (except ulcerative colitis, Baruch HaShem) have drastically flared while serving as a pulpit rabbi. I have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromylagia, myalgic encaphalomyelitis, and massive migraines, (also probably POTS, though I don’t have a formal diagnosis).

This post is later than I intended because of the overwhelming migraine that took over my body last night. That was after traveling to see a Wellesley author, Jasmine Guillory, speak about her latest book, Flirting Lessons. This is a calculus I do daily: how much am I willing to sacrifice to be upright. Recently, it has meant saving all of my strength for my professional responsibilities and relying on my partner to support our family and our active children.

It may seem obvious from the above paragraph why I need to stop working. Yet, nothing is obvious. I love this community so fiercely, and it still saddens me to think that we will not be co-creating this spiritual community together. If we could afford to live in Alameda on one salary, we would be staying.

Spiritual Discipline Allows Love to Flow

The reality is that we all have to recognize our personal limitations in order to live fully into our best selves.

And having boundaries and discipline provides a container for love to flow.

It is reasonable to love ourselves, our chosen family, our chosen community, deeper than we love others.

It is reasonable to protect our own people from harm.

It is reasonable to have trepidation when approached by The Other.

Yet, it is also reasonable that our boundaries give us the strength needed to allow our own love to flow outward to The Stranger.

When we know our hard limits, we are able to give freely.

We are obligated to give financially to those less fortunate than ourselves.

All of us are obligated, even if we are poor ourselves.

The discipline to budget our money and ensure we give away a portion is righteous.

The discipline to know when spending has become a way to not deal with larger issues in our lives allows us to flow into better versions of ourselves.

There is no shame in recognizing our paths have diverged from our intentions. Rather, we are always welcome to return to the path of Love and Truth, Strength and Compassion.

May we all recognize the Truth pursuing us and live into it with circumcised hearts.