Today is twenty-one days, which is three weeks, of the Omer in the year 5782. שכינה שבתפארת, Shekhinah ShebeTiferet, Indwelling Presence of Beauty. Do you feel the Beautiful Mother within you? Can you acknowledge your inner beauty?
Reflecting on the Journey
I don’t spend a lot of time explaining why I write these meditations or what I hope to accomplish by counting the Omer. Perhaps because there are plenty of apps and books that provide that explanation. Perhaps because I’ve been busy doing other things.
Counting the Omer is something I learned about at Ohr HaTorah. Rabbi Finley’s explanation of the sefirot, a dozen years ago, was centered on three: Chesed, Gevurah, and Tiferet / Emet. Part of the reason for my meditation is to allow myself access to the breadth of the lower seven sefirot from my own vantage point. I take values extremely seriously and I find this practice helps me sink in. These sefirot ground me and they remind me to align myself with HaShem in all that I do, all that I think, all that I feel, and all that I say.
The Beauty Within
It can be hard to love ourselves completely and unconditionally. We are constantly bombarded with messages to Improve Ourselves.
This year, I am trying to have a more gentle Omer count. Acknowledging the various dimensions of each sefirah without castigating myself for following short of my Ideal Image.
I have heard people say that in order to prioritize the beauty within, one must ignore the external. That somehow it is a moral choice to avoid makeup and other beauty products. Personally, I don’t see one’s appearance as intrinsically connected to one’s morality. On the other hand, makeup and its accoutrements is not the focus of the beauty I have been seeking this past week.
I am enough. You are enough. We are enough. And we radiate beauty by being grounded in the Indwelling Presence of the Divine.
Today is twenty days, which is two weeks and six days of the Omer, in the year 5782. יסד שבתפארת. Yesod ShebeTiferet. Foundation of Beauty. אמת Emet, Truth, is another name for the sefirah we are meditating into this week. In my heart, I know that the foundation of beauty is truth.
The Authenticity of Beauty that Pierces the Soul: Truth
We all have intuition. Whether its the music that we like or the speaker whom we connect with: some things call us in while other things repel us.
I am a person called towards truth. I don’t care for artifice. I am not interested in production values. I connect with soulful praying and inspiring art.
When I feel bonded with beauty, it is because the truth has reached out and forced me to take notice.
How do you bond with beauty? What is the truth reaching towards you at this moment?
May 5, Cinco de Mayo, Yom HaAtzmaut, Israel’s Independence Day
Jewish days begin and end at sundown. So, I am counting the 20th day on what is still May 5, 2022 in my time zone. Which means it is still Cinco de Mayo, but it is not Yom HaAtzmaut. Mexico declared victory over French colonialists, though they lost a subsequent battle with the Second French Empire. Still, it is a significant day, particularly honoring Mexican American culture.
Israel’s Independence Day was on the 5th of Iyar 5708 (May 14, 1948), though it rarely falls on that day because it moves to avoid occurring too close to Shabbat. I could say a lot more about the importance of Israel and its legitimacy. Jews are the only indigenous people to return to their land and reclaim their self-determination. For a small piece of the story, please see my previous reflection on moving from “peace activism” to progressive Zionist.
“The three victims in the deadly attack were identified as 40-year-old Yonatan Habakuk, 40-year-old Boaz Gol, and 35 year-old Oren Ben Yiftach. Together they left behind 16 children.
Seven other people were injured in the attack, one in critical condition and another in serious condition.”
Two Palestinian suspects from Jenin in the West Bank attacked civilians with axes and knives.
I cannot imagine the inhumane ideology that leads people to murder other humans.
Israel Is Not an Apartheid State
The most vicious lie I ever swallowed was the idea that Israel is an apartheid state. It is based on the false notion that Jews are “imperialist colonizers.” Fundamentally, all of this rhetoric is upheld by anti-Jewish bias in mainstream culture. I could go on, but there’s just too much…
Religious, Cultural, and Individual Liberty
I try avoid heated rhetoric that inflames conversations. Yet, the leaked Supreme Court document overturning Roe v. Wade is such a quintessential piece of Christian, patriarchal hegemony, that it is hard for me to deny the relevance of saying the thing in this moment.
The cells in my body do not have rights separate from me.
The “soul” is a concept formed by pagan Greeks and is not part of the original intent of the Bible.
The poetry of the Psalms should never be the basis of law. No Jewish law is decided based on the words of poetry in the Bible. It seems barbaric to strip poetry of its nuance and pretend that it was intended as the basis for legal decisions. Further, the Hebrew Bible itself upholds the personhood of pregnant people and the distinction between pregnancy and human life.
So yeah, my culture and my religion stand firmly on the side of privacy, bodily autonomy, and a religious imperative to support pregnant people’s ability to make their own decisions about their bodies.
I think this is why I enjoy The Business from KCRW: the process through which artists create their work is endlessly fascinating. I’m looking forward to having more time to explore culture once my studies are completed this month.
Today is nineteen days, which is two weeks and five days of the Omer in the year 5782. הוד שבתפארת, Hod ShebeTiferet, Splendor of Beauty. My feelings on the world have not changed. Abortion is healthcare. Banning it is part of Christian hegemony. Ukraine deserves to be free and its people safe. Over a million people have died in the United States from COVID-19. Ongoing death and longterm illness are problems we are collectively refusing to acknowledge. Right now, I am going to put those things aside and meditate into beauty.
There is something about water that is so appealing to the human soul. There is a reason we continue to be drawn to waterfronts, despite our knowledge about climate change.
Holding space for beauty
A key aspect of Hod is bringing forward into reality a space for God to reside. Netzach and Hod are connected to the legs of the human body. They are the pillars of the temple within. As pillars, they pull forward the sefirot that precede them.
For example, my husband is an incredible artist who designs furniture unlike anything you can buy in a store. (He even holds a patent for a table design.) This is a man who understands how to honor the splendor of beauty. It is why he designed our Ketubah, our wedding invitations, and our wedding program. And why, when I told him that actually, the makeup space he created in our bathroom would limit the lifespan of my makeup, he took up the challenge and designed a vanity for me. (Nevermind that yes, you read correctly — when we redid our bathroom, space was saved for an Ikea-built makeup station, with my grandmother’s mirror on the wall and surrounded by lights.)
I have learned the splendor of beauty from Chung-Mau.
Appreciate Beauty in All Its Forms
Every human is beautiful. Every soul is unique.
Getting lost in a television show, whether a soap opera or a documentary, is appreciating beauty.
Letting music lift your soul or comfort your brokenness is appreciating beauty.
Oh and a concert, or a festival — goodness, it’s been many years since I’ve let music wash over me that way. Such splendor of beauty.
Watching a film in a huge theatre or on a small screen is beautiful.
Going to the theatre and seeing actors perform — whether a drama, a comedy, or a musical — is beautiful.
Attending an art exhibit. Or going to an artist talk (!!) is splendor of beauty.
May we allow ourselves moments to sink into the splendor of beauty today and everyday.
Today is eighteen days, which was two weeks and four days of the Omer, in the year 5782. נצח שבתפארת, Netzach ShebeTiferet, Enduring Beauty, Eternity within Beauty.
Having the Courage to Honor Beauty Always
Beauty gets a bad rap.
It is said to be ephemeral and materialistic.
Yet, a well-balanced equation is beautiful.
And art transforms the soul in a way science can never touch.
What Is Within Beauty / Tiferet?
This sefirah is also connected to compassion and truth. These three ideals are superimposed on top of one another. The balance of Chesed and Gevurah resides in Tiferet. Covenantal Love / Grace / Flow meets Strength / Boundaries / Discipline and create Beauty / Compassion / Truth.
The Enduring Beauty I seek to honor in all my thoughts, feelings, and actions is the miracle of every living being. The soul within and the spirit reflected through their actions. This is the source of my patience and my empathy.
Balance, Wholeness, Contentment
Enduring Beauty is perfectly balanced between love and discipline. She holds firm to her ideals, while being gentle with herself and others.
Today is seventeen days, which is two weeks and three days of the Omer 5782. תפארת שבתפארת. Beauty within Beauty. We are also witnessing the beginning of the end of bodily autonomy in the United States. Human rights are going to be stripped from people by the United States Supreme Court.
This year, I challenged myself to create seven meditations on a single side of each sefirot, even though they all contain a constellation of ideas. So for Tiferet, I solely wanted to speak about Beauty. I was going to ignore Compassion, which has a womb at the root of the word. And I wanted to ignore my other favorite aspece of this sefirah, Truth, which is so deeply embedded in how I approach the world. Perhaps I could knock out a few paragraphs on the essence of Beauty in the morning when the exhaustion has dissipated a bit?
Abortion is a Human Right. Reproductive Healthcare is Healthcare.
Roe v Wade was decided on the basis of the right to privacy. This Twitter thread provides an overview of the rulings that could be overturned based on throwing out this settled precedent.
Roe v. Wade is based on the 'right to privacy.' If the majority opinion by SCOTUS suggests that the constitution does not protect the right to privacy… that affects a WHOLE lot of other decisions. Buckle up – this is the beginning of a lot of potential ugliness. A thread.
Most critically, I want to say: my bodily autonomy is not up for debate. I am not moving from the fact that whatever healthcare a child-bearing person decides to make, that is a decision they choose alone. Every single person has the right to make their healthcare decisions for themselves.
I could tell you my own experiences with abortion, but I shouldn’t have to do that to convince someone that my body is my own business and child-bearing people are human beings who should not be treated as incapable of making their own healthcare decisions.
Religious Liberty is Secondary
To be clear: Jewish law is not made on the basis of poetry. The Psalter is not the origin of our law code. Within our Bible, it is *very* clear that life is always more important than potential life.
Also, since “conservatives” are so enamored with the idea of “original intent,” let’s remember that the concept of the soul did not exist when the Torah or the Psalms were written. Reading soul-language into the Bible is a retroactive continuity decision after Jews came in contact with Pagan Greeks and decided to appropriate the soul-concept into their civilization.
I oppose placing Christian theology above individual bodily autonomy. I oppose government deciding what healthcare human beings can choose to receive. And yes, I completely agree with the majority of rabbis throughout the centuries who have prioritized every woman’s life above the potential life that she may be carrying in her body. A woman can choose whatever medical procedure or medication is needed to protect her mental and physical health.
On the Beauty Front: A Magnificent Art Exhibit is Closing
Circling back to Tiferet ShebeTiferet, the Beauty within Beauty of the 17th day of the Omer.
Jenny Yurshansky‘s incredible exhibit is up for the next ten days at the American Jewish University. As explained in the Los Angeles Times review of Yurshansky’s solo exhibit, it is a timely piece that looks at what it means to be a refugee. She has one final artist talk scheduled for Mother’s Day and you don’t want to miss it if you’re in the LA area.
I have the distinct honor of knowing Ms. Yurshansky, as we went to junior high school together.
Today is sixteen days, which is two weeks and two days of the Omer, in the year 5782. גבורה שבתפארת. Gevurah ShebeTiferet. Strength within Beauty. Art nourishes the soul, strengthening our bodies to face reality with inspiration, communal understanding, and conviction.
Art Strengthens Us, Creating the Ability to Face the Unknown
Today I was wandering the library. In our small town, the library is a fraction of the size of the amazing Central Library of Los Angeles. Nevertheless, while browsing the biography section, I ran into two books I own: Paris Letters and A Paris Year, written by my former coworker Janice Macleod. You really should read Paris Letters: it’s an incredible and incredibly realistic memoir of making a decision and changing the direction of your life.
This is what art does: it creates relevance and deepens our understanding of our collective past, present, and future. I learned more about the Great Depression from The Grapes of Wrath than from any history book. My soul is expanded by every art museum I walk into. And the power of theatre and cinema to transport us is undeniable. So is the soundtrack of music for our journeys.
May you find time today to sink into art and relish being alive.
Today is fifteen days, which is two weeks and one day of the Omer 5782. חסד שבתפארת, Chesed ShebeTiferet, Covenantal Love within Beauty. Beautiful things: whether visual, musical, poetic, prose, and living beings. Their beauty is touched by the covenantal love of HaShem. The art of nature and the art created by natural beings is enlivened by covenantal love.
Soul, Spirit, Still Small Voice
Let’s begin where most people agree: we discuss eras of time and say “there was a spirit of the age.” We understand what a politician means when they say “this is a battle for the soul of the nation.” Some of us are familiar with “heeding the call of the still, small voice within.”
What are all of these words pointing towards? Is there a clear definition that distinguishes one from the other? Where does the concept come from?
Pagan Greeks gave us the concept of the soul. I love telling people this because for me, this knowledge shattered the sharp distinctions in my mind between spiritual traditions. Neither Judaism nor Christianity would have a belief in the soul and the soul’s journey without pagan Greeks generally, and the Hellenistic Age that began with Alexander the Great.
For me, this factoid confirms that whatever we call the deepest part of ourselves, it is a universal aspect of being human. When we make space for the soul, our lives get calmer and our minds rest easier.
The Divine Births Beauty
Every creative innovation, every well-balanced equation, every artistic flourish is birthed by HaShem. It is the physical manifestation of the cosmic unity of all that exists. We are all made of star dust. May we make time to relish this every day.
Welcome the Overflow of Covenantal Love
The Jewish prayer formula is an ancient magic trick. It is a conduit. A way to make ourselves receptive to the Covenantal Love pulsing towards us. By acknowledging the Source of Blessing, we become infused with blessing. We are turned towards Goodness and gracefully stay anchored to the Divine spark within.
For you are my crag and my bastion, and for Your name’s sake guide me and lead me. (Robert Alter translation, Psalm 31:4).
This right here is the reason I am a Jewish spiritual leader. Allowing God to guide me and lead me. My hope is to open gateways to God. The path of righteousness, the path of justice, the path of truth: they are all the same path and the are all guided by HaShem.
May we all have time this Shabbat to sink into the Strength within us and the Rock Who guides us.
The image was taken by Archie Binamira and found with Pexels. This beautiful photo of a real mountain in the Philippines reminds me of the Pixar short, “Lava” —
Today is thirteen days, which is one week and six days of the Omer, 5782. יסוד שבגבורה, Yesod of Gevurah, Foundation of Strength.
El Shaddai: my Rock and my Redeemer
Contemporary Judaism shies away from focusing directly on HaShem. God is so unknowable that we often take Her out of the conversation. We want to be so inclusive that we don’t want to offend people who don’t believe in God. Absolutely, Jewish community does not have a belief litmus test. Yet, I would be lying if I ignored the Force at the center of my life.
Still, it has been difficult to write my meditations this week. I get worried about offending people. Once, I was accused of being a Christian missionary because my words were enflamed by God’s grace.
Nevertheless, this is a truth that keeps nipping at me.
Tzuri v’Go’ali. צוּרִי וְגֹאֲלִי my Rock and my Redeemer.
These words from Psalm 19 conclude the personal prayer written by Mar son of Ravina that is recorded in Berakhot 17a (a section of Talmud). Mar son of Ravina was my first teacher. In the prayer books I grew up with, the only poetry left in the English translation was his prayer. It pierced my soul from the first moment I was able to read it. Every time I read it, my heart is transformed. I had a particularly emotional response to this phrase at the Isabella Freedman Retreat Center for Davvenen Leadership Training Institute.
The Foundation of my Strength is God
To be clear, God is my Rock. The sure foundation to all that I do and all that I aspire to be.
I am a conduit to spirituality because HaShem is near to all.
We are all worthy and we are all needed.
Love permeates the universe. God gives us the strength to live into it.
God is my Redeemer
Every day, every hour, every minute: I have the choice to turn towards God.
God redeems me.
God assures me that my habits do not define me.
God reminds me that my better nature is my true nature.
God redeems me from my inclination towards evil, my Yetzer HaRa.
God has given me the gift of life.
May you feel God’s presence
May today be a day when God consciousness awakens you.
May you know that you are loved just as you are.
May you know you have the strength needed for life’s journey because God is with you.
Today is twelve days, which is one week and five days of the Omer in the year 5782. הוד שבגבורה, Hod ShebeGevurah, Temple of Strength; splendor within power. Today, the 27th day of Nisan, is also Yom HaZikaron LaShoah v’LaGevurah, the Day to Remember The Shoah and The Heroism, the Catastrophe when one-third of Jews were murdered during World War II.
Choosing Hope, Strength, and Steadfast Support
Life has taken many turns for all of us. No one has had time to fully process the ways in which our lives have changed in the last few years. However we approach the seasons ahead, the fragility of human life is stark and clear.
I choose hope.
I remember El Shaddai, the Source of Strength.
My belief in HaShem is not dependent on prosperity or health. Like Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Shapira, God is with me in darkness as in light.
It is not necessary to believe in God to be Jewish. While I welcome all people into spiritual community, my soul is grounded in the pursuit of HaShem. I cannot tell you I know God. There is no way for me to comprehend the Source of Life. I can say, my faith in God is strong. God is my Rock and my Shield.
Building my Sanctuary for Strength
A core reason I am on the cusp of rabbinic ordination is that I feel most complete in a sanctuary. My best self bursts forward in Jewish community generally and prayer spaces specifically. This is the consciousness I work to live into throughout the day, regardless of where I am.
So today, I will contemplate how I build that sanctuary within me. How I make it possible to feel surrounded by El Shaddai, God of Protection, God of Breasts.
Sometimes, we shy away from strength. We demure and deflect. This is a week to own the power within us and connect to the strength around us. As brave Amazon workers on Staten Island reminded us, the people united can never be defeated.
Similarly, there are many people who have been hurt by organized religion and believe that individual spirituality superior to collective endeavors. Yet, the thing I have learned above all else during this pandemic is that we humans are social animals. We are our best selves in community.
Let’s reinvent our synagogues and develop the spaces we need for our individual and collective spiritual growth. Am Yisrael Chai! The people Israel live!
