Today is forty-eight days, which is six weeks and six days of the Omer in the year 5782. יסוד שבשכינה. Yesod ShebeShekhinah. Foundation of Divine Presence. Am I still connected to the Creative Flow within? Or have I given up the pursuit, spellbound by doomscrolling?
Desire for Silence
There is so much about this part of the journey. Perhaps I should have written in a journal. What I know for sure is that now is not the time to “reflect” in public view. I am still in the midst of my transition. There is no reflection possible when reality feels so surreal.
This is my sixth year of public meditations into Omer counting. I wrote reflections every year of my rabbinical training. Next year, I will not write daily meditations. Instead, I am going to sort out how to continue to generate public thoughts while maintaining space for my internal journey, and supporting my congregation.
Floating On Air
I never want to take a day for granted. I want to appreciate the journey, while reveling in where I am. Sometimes, I think about the people I met along the way and wonder what they’d think about this chapter of my life. Is your life a simple through-line? Growing up, my folks had this Lincoln Perseverance Motivational Poster on our coffee table. (I doubt it cost that much 30 years ago.) I feel ready for the next chapter of my life.
Embrace the Voice in Your Head
When I read Eat, Pray, Love, I was vacationing in New York City. I hung out with myself during the day and enjoyed my friends’ company through the night. I had just quit one marketing job and was about to start the next one, where I would meet my husband. In 2013, I read Paris Letters: A Travel Memoir About Art, Writing, and Finding Love in Paris. By this time, I was having breakfast at IHOP with my husband and newborn son. Instead of reading about a random writer’s search for self, I was reading the true adventure of a woman who had been my copywriter at the first LA-based marketing job I had.
The voice in my head told me to dive into Judaism. I reminded myself that I prefer who I am within a Jewish worldview. I knew there was more to the search for meaning than world travel. The kid who attempted to read philosophical treatise about why people die needed deeper answers than can be found in art museums and church tours. So I sunk in. Now, I’ve come up for air with a new title in front of my name.
This is such a glorious time to be alive. We have the opportunity to create a brighter future for ourselves and for the world. Let’s prepare for Shabbat and Shavuot. Let’s embrace the revelation rushing towards us. Let’s begin.