Today is four days of the Omer in the year 5782, נצח שבחסד, Netzach ShebeChesed, Enduring Covenantal Love. Breaking free of the stories that keep us from our Source, remembering the child within.
Acknowledge the Stories Within
Before we can change, we must observe what is. So often, the narratives we tell about our lives define our present and future. For far too long, I lived with a heavy burden on my shoulders. A friend in college asked me if I would always carry the weight of the world with me. There was always The Past and The Narrative driving my actions. Until I allowed myself to break free.
Change isn’t easy. I can’t promise an easy fix. There’s no way to know what this seven-week journey holds for you. The only thing I’m sure about is that I will be ordained during this season. The culmination of a twelve year process of living more fully into myself.
Give Yourself Grace
Don’t expect everything to change at once. Don’t beat yourself over past mistakes. Don’t dwell on what you did this morning. Live lightly and flow will come. Choose intentionality in this present moment.
The Power of Children
I look at my children and marvel at their distinct personalities. They remind me of me, yet not really. What they truly offer is a window into innocence and pure love. I am so grateful for their presence. For their questions. For their passion.
Try to remember your own childhood. Not the Big Story. Just the snippets you can grasp when you were happy. When you were curious. When you had fun. Soak that in. Pure joy is not just for children. We all deserve moments of respite and delight.
One of the things that attracted me to my partner is that he brought out the child within me. He had Hello Kitty figurines on his desk, sparking the joy I used to experience from Not a Cat. Throw some TokiDoki, Kawaii Disney / Marvel, and JuJuBe in the mix, and you can guess what kind of couple we used to be at ComicCon. Never be afraid of embracing your inner child. They have been waiting a long time to play with you.
Enduring Covenantal Love
Sometimes, we are not kind when we describe the religion we were taught as children. Some of us had the opportunity to experience deep community, uncomplicated faith, and joyful familiarity. When we strip away disappointment, unresolved doubt, and busyness — the enduring covenantal love that comes easily to children holds space for us.
No need to throw away your rationality or your critical relationship with tradition. By soaking in Torah as deeply as one can manage, we participate in healing and regenerating Judaism. We choose to endure as part of Am Yisrael, the people of Israel. I am so blessed to be part of this life-affirming, and life-challenging chain of knowledge.
I dance with the black and white fire on the page. I swim in the pools of soulful longing of the people around me. And I commit myself to always making time to play with the child within.
How will you connect with the energy of Netzach ShebeChesed, Enduring Covenantal Love?
Unlocking Sefirat haOmer
This book is the best source I have found for a traditional approach to counting the Omer.