Today is twenty-four days, which is three weeks and three days of the Omer in the year 5780. תפארת שבנצח, Tiferet ShebeNetzach, Harmonious, True Eternal Will.
Sinking into the Eternity of This Moment
While it is true that there are so many aspects of me yearning to be expressed, there is part of me that never wants this moment to end.
I love my family fiercely and I love being surrounded by them. My four year-olds need for random hugs, my six year-old learning new words every day. Their father sinking into his original artistic passions for drawing and woodworking. The dog always at my side, guarding my neshama, my soul.
I will need to ease into life without their constant presence. I will need to know they are safe and not in danger of contracting a fatal illness before I am comfortable opening the doors to our home again.
Beautiful Truth Guiding My Eternal Will
Here are some truths I have learned that I try to live by:
The judgments of my ego are usually not the words the people around me need to hear.
Observing the world with love softens the edges of criticism and guides me towards being a healing presence.
No matter what they do, yelling at my kids will not make their actions more rational or make me feel more at peace.
Curses indicate weakness. True strength lies in speaking words of love and respect.
Sealing my Intentions towards my Rock and my Redeemer
I am reminded of Psalm 19. It reflects my deep desire to constantly remember covenantal love for humanity and discipline in repeating my ego’s judgments before allowing anything to leave my mouth. Urged towards remaining awake for this journey, and directing my passion towards Divine Goodness.
“Let my mouth’s utterances be pleasing,
And my heart’s stirrings before You,
Ground of Being, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
Psalm 19, verse 15. Robert Alter translation from The Book of Psalms: A Translation with Commentary with my understanding of a better translation of God’s Name.